What To Say When Your Family Member Refuses To Get Help For Their Mental Health

Sometimes, you can do and say all the right things, and your family member will still refuse to get help for their mental health. Here are some things you can say in these moments to keep the conversation open and illustrate your commitment to helping them find resources when they are ready.

• Let them know you love them, support them, and care. “I love you, and I am ready to help get you to treatment if and when you are ready.”
• Offer support in a way that feels safe for both of you. This might be via phone, in person, through letters, or a trusted third party.
• Show that you see their struggle and how hard they are working. “I know this is hard. I see how hard you’re trying.”
• Show that you believe in them. “I believe in you, and I know you can do this.”
• Reinforce the idea that you cannot heal them but will always be there. “I will always be here for you.”
• When connecting them with other resources, try saying, "You deserve support" instead of "You need help."
• Communicate your own needs honestly and respectfully. “I cannot help you financially right now. I am happy to help you with groceries, but I will not give you money.”

And it’s so important that you get the support you deserve, learn how to set and hold firm boundaries, and process any feelings that come up for you. Remember that you have the right to end a relationship when it is abusive, not what you want, one-sided, or when the other person refuses to do what they need to do to be in a healthy relationship with you. Sometimes, love and compassion have to come from a distance.