How To Talk About Emotional Maturity Without Sounding Judgmental
Some adults are so accustomed to rude, critical, abusive dialogue in their relationships that anything healthy sounds like “therapy-speak.”
Talking about emotional maturity can be awkward and uncomfortable with people who aren’t familiar with the concept or who are defensive. But people are more likely to listen when they don’t feel judged. And, some adults are so accustomed to rude, critical, abusive dialogue in their relationships that anything healthy sounds like “therapy-speak.”
If you want to have a conversation about what you’re learning, introduce the topic, or encourage someone to work on it, here are some ways you can begin those conversations.
“I’ve been trying to work on being more emotionally mature lately and just catching myself when I get defensive or shut down. It’s been helping me handle things better.”
“I’ve been learning a lot about emotional maturity and how it shows up in relationships. It’s actually been really helpful.”
“I’ve noticed that when we get into these patterns, it’s hard for both of us to stay calm.”
“I’m trying to get better at slowing down before I react.”
“I think both of us care about this relationship enough to work on how we handle conflict.”
“When you talk to me that way, it’s really hard for me to stay calm. I don’t want us to keep falling into this pattern.”
“I care about our relationship, and I want to be able to talk about things without either of us getting defensive or hurtful.”
“I’m not saying you’re immature. I think emotional maturity is something we all have to keep learning.”
“I get defensive, too. This is something I’m trying to work on in myself.”
“Thanks for listening. I know this can be hard to talk about.”
“Let’s come back to this when we’ve both had a little time to cool off.”