When You’re the One Who Hurt Someone

If you are the one who has hurt someone, here are some ways you can apologize or initiate a conversation about past hurts. Remember that you can only control what you say and how you say it. You cannot control how it is received or the outcome.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about how I spoke to you during that time, and I can see now how hurtful it was. I dismissed your feelings and made you question yourself. You didn’t deserve that, and I’m sorry for the pain I caused.”

“There were reasons I acted the way I did, but they don’t excuse it. I’m responsible for the way I treated you, and I want you to know that I take that seriously. I’m working on being more aware of how my behavior affects people.”

“I know that saying sorry isn’t enough. I’ve said it before, and I didn’t follow through. This time, I’m in therapy, I’m learning how to communicate differently, and I want to show you that over time.”

“You have every right to feel angry and hurt by what happened. I would feel that way too. I don’t expect you to trust me right now, but I hope you know that I understand why you feel the way you do.”

“I want to apologize for how I treated you, even if we never have another conversation after this. You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry, and I’m working on being someone who doesn’t cause that kind of hurt again.”