Boundaries For The Parent Who Emotionally Parentified You

Setting boundaries with the parent who engaged in emotional parentification while you were a child can be difficult. They may feel upset, abandoned, or hurt by your refusal to continue playing that role. You can slowly start setting boundaries around the type of help you offer and the topics you discuss.

• “I care about you, and I want you to have support, but I can’t be the person you talk to about this. It’s too heavy for me to hold as your child.”
• “I know you’re upset, and I trust that you’ll figure this out. I can’t be available every time something goes wrong. Can you try calling ____?”
• “I know that you’re disappointed, but I’m learning to have a different kind of relationship with you.”
• “I don’t feel comfortable talking about that with you.”
• “I wanted to talk to you about something that’s going on with me. Can we talk about that for a little bit?”
• “I’m going to take a break from this conversation. Let’s talk another time.”
• “I love you, and I want to have a different kind of relationship with you, one where I get to be your child, not your counselor.”