How To Tell A Family Member You Cannot Be Their Therapist

June 3rd, 2024

It's important to remember that telling people what we can and cannot handle is actually a way of showing them we care and love them.

You are allowed to say:

When we have shared responses like this in the past, the response has been mixed. I know that being on the receiving end of some of these statements can be difficult. And it’s important to remember that telling people what we can and cannot handle is actually a way of showing them we care and love them. Trying to support someone and doing a poor job is way worse than being honest with them at the moment.

“I know you’re going through a hard time. I think it would be best to find you some other support. Can I help you find a therapist?”
“I love you, and I care about you. Unfortunately, I can’t help with this because it’s too hard for me.”
“I'm sorry, I can’t be your sounding board about X anymore.“
“I really understand that you're going through a hard time. I don't want you to feel like you're a burden or that you can't come to me. I just don't think I am the right person to process this with. Have you thought about talking to X?”
“I really want to help you and I can’t right now. Can we talk in the morning?”
“I’m so sorry you’re going through a hard time. I have to work late tonight, but I would love to get together and talk about it this week.”
"I really want to be there for you and I feel like I can't really help with this. Do you think X would be better at helping you?"
“Have you ever had one of those days when you’re overwhelmed and need time for yourself? That’s me today. I’m afraid if I try to give you advice or listen, I won’t do a great job. Can I check in with you (insert a time)?”

These are also written from a therapist's perspective and are not written in your voice. Please use these as inspiration and make them sound like you and your voice.