How To Set Physical Boundaries With Enmeshed Family Members

It's crucial to recognize that the concept of physical boundaries varies across cultures and family dynamics. For instance, in families where it's customary to share a home with multiple generations, or where a certain level of physical touch is welcomed by all, some of the boundaries discussed here may not be applicable. These guidelines are designed to assist you in establishing significant physical boundaries within your family, but they are not intended to be universally applicable or prescriptive.

Physical boundaries around touch:

• “We do not make her hug people if she doesn’t want to. You can ask for a high five, a handshake, or a wave instead.”
• “I do not want other people to hold the baby right now.”

Boundaries around your home and space:

• “Please call or text us and let us know when you plan to come over, and we will let you know if that works for us.”
• “We aren’t having visitors at our house until the baby is six weeks old. We don’t want to risk them getting sick and appreciate you understanding that.”

Boundaries around holidays and visits:

• “We are coming for Christmas but will stay at a hotel instead. I appreciate you offering to host us.”
• “We can come over for Passover dinner at 5, but we will need to leave by 7 PM to get the baby to bed.”