How Do I Say This?: I Want To Apologize To My Sibling For What Happened In Our Childhood

Personality clashes, mental and physical illness, divorce, parental favoritism, death, marriage, and other stressful life circumstances can cause issues between siblings.

It’s important to remember that sibling issues during childhood are happening between children. You may have done something to harm your sibling, and your parent was primarily responsible for keeping you safe. Healing your relationship in adulthood means making space for who your sibling was then and who they are now. You can forgive yourself for what you did and you can change.

If you want to apologize for something you did to your sibling in childhood, here are some ways to begin that conversation.

• “I am sorry that I bullied you during childhood. I know I didn’t fully understand what I was doing then, but I see it now and I see how it impacted you.”
• “I appreciate you telling me how (insert situation) impacted you. I really wish I would have understood what I was doing at the time and I really see it now. I want to try to improve our relationship in adulthood.”
• “I know I was put in really bad situations during our childhood and I took it out on you.”
• “I wish our parents would have tried to teach me about what I was doing. I was really lost and I harmed you in the process.”
• “I thought I was doing the right thing as a kid but it clearly impacted you. I wish I would have handled that differently and I want to work on it now.”